Little do you know..

Playlist 6

You don’t realise that you have forgotten what being under an open sky feels like, till you see it again.

I went for a run yesterday. After days and days of planning, I finally put on my new shoes and went for a run. The whole day I had been wondering where I would go. I had always noticed this park near my house, but had never gone inside. Google told me that it was actually a DDA park and should definitely be explored.

I entered the park and started walking. It seemed like a well maintained park. People of different ages, genders, classes were all around. While some played, some walked/jogged, some loitered around, some found cozy corners and some found shady spots. Oh and there were dogs. 🙂

The initial stretch was covered with trees. After about ten minutes of walking and jogging, I reached a stretch of the track where suddenly the sky appeared all over me. I looked up and I saw a clear sky, blanket all of us with only a slight glimpse of buildings at the horizon. I knew I had found my favorite part of the park. I also realized that it had been long since I was under the open sky with nothing obstructing my view of it. It almost felt like coming up for fresh air and getting my due share of oxygen.

Today was my second day of successfully sticking to my running plan. I saw the open sky today too. I have also developed a route that I follow. I begin my run first on the track which is covered by trees and then end by doing the stretch under the open sky. It’s like an incentive to keep running and not give up. Not that the track with trees is bad. But well, clearly my heart lies with the open sky.

….

You don’t realise how much you truly miss something, till a memory brings it all back.

I stayed the night at a friend’s place a few days back. Both of us were tired and just wanted to crash. However, we decided to do one thing before we go to sleep. We played a song (Nindiya re) we had once played when were in college (in the hostel) on repeat and slept for hours at a stretch. Peacefully.

We played the song. I closed my eyes and the very next moment I had a clear picture of the window in our room. That window has to be the prettiest window I have ever slept next to in my life. I did not see through that window. I dreamt. Of the cottage in front. Of the tiny yellow window. Of beaches which lie beyond palm trees. And the picture stayed throughout till I drifted off to sleep.

I realized how much I missed the sleep I got next to that window which always had the open sky up there for me. Sometimes with stars, sometimes with a sun shining down and sometimes (the times I remember the most) with clouds pouring down rain.

…..

You don’t realise what you will miss the most about a person, till the person starts living the memory you wish to reminisce together, alone.

I wrote another note on my phone yesterday :-

“Despite everything that has gone down, there is still a connect. A connect strong enough for me to laugh and miss you. Miss you and want to be there with you. I don’t know if you still say things like “Are you seeing this?” in your head when you are there; a place I want to be.

Do you miss me? Was this our connection? Love for a space and city? Do you feel it too?

I am there with you. Hiding behind a pillar for all the walls we have built, but still knowing that you are happy and knowing exactly what is it that makes you happy.

Not strangers, after all?”

I realise now that we connected best under the open sky. I realise now that we connected and didn’t get consumed in a spiral void, when we had a sea and an open sky to look at and talk about.

I realise now that we stopped talking about the open sky.

….

We don’t realise a lot of things. Up until it comes back to us. Sometimes as a breath of fresh air and sometimes as a reminder that you might be becoming a person you don’t want to become. Whatever it may be, it comes back. All you need to do is take a step back and look up. Towards an open sky.

“ज़रा नज़र उठा कर देखो….. दुनिया की इस भीड़ में, सबसे पीछे हम खड़े।”

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